Exam period

It's tough. Not physically but mentally. Once again I find myself wondering why I'm doing this. Why am I studying my brain off to get an education I don't have a passion about? I know. The alternative is worse. If I drop out I don't know what I'll do. Get a job in the cafeteria? I like my new life.
Still... I'm kind of lost. What's next? I'll have one year off between my bachelor and master but I have a feeling that it won't be that great. My father will be stressed because I'm out seeing the world, and I have to earn some money to cover all the expenses.
When I'm finished I will be back on the school bench. Studying. Then.. WORK. The guy. Family. House. Children. Family. Love. Work. Life crisis. Work. Useless? Old. Weak. Vacation. Alone. I can see it all. Even though I don't exactly know what's out there for me it's as if I kind of do. I'm striving to get a life "most people" want. Do I want that? I know I want to travel and help people. I love being with children and to be honest I would probably have chosen to work in a kinder garden if it hadn't been for all of the expectations everyone has, including myself. Will I ever be happy? Will I ever be content with myself and what I have achieved?
I hope the answer is yes. It has to be yes.
I think I need to stop looking at others (easier said than done) and just do my best. Know that I have limits and be happy with what I manage to do without thinking too little of me.
Take more chances. Because to be honest with you, Anita (yes I'm talking to myself) you are a chicken. Dare to talk to people and challenge yourself. Dare to say no if you don't feel like doing it. (And get your ass to bed now. You have to study tomorrow!)
Okay. I'm off to bed. Good night!